Control the Controllable: Circle of Control Activities for Elementary Students
A big part of school counseling is helping students work through worry and anxiety. While “anxiety” can feel like a catch-all term, at its core, it often comes back to this: feeling out of control. When students don’t know what to expect or feel powerless in a situation, those big feelings can take over quickly.
That’s where circle of control activities come in. These activities give kids a concrete way to separate what they can control (like their words, reactions, and effort) from what they can’t control (like the weather, other people’s choices, or the past). By giving them a simple, visual tool, we help them step out of their emotional brain and start thinking about worries more logically.
Hi, I’m Rachel Davis! I’m a former school counselor with over 8 years of experience in the classroom. I specialize in creating easy-to-implement strategies for busy school counselors, and I am the counselor and curriculum designer behind Bright Futures Counseling, a community designed to offer counselors the support they need to feel confident serving their students well.
In this guide, I am sharing three tried-and-true circle of control activities for elementary students that you can use in small groups, class lessons, or individual counseling sessions. These activities are simple, engaging, and best of all, they get students talking.Those first few weeks of school are exciting but also a little overwhelming: new students are adjusting to routines, teachers are setting expectations, and staff are beginning to spot individual student needs.
Why Teach the Circle of Control?
The idea of “circles of control” comes from Stephen Covey’s book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Covey describes two circles:
- The Circle of Control - the things we do have power over, like our choices, words, and actions.
- The Circle of No Control - the things we don’t have power over, like what others say, how people treat us, or unexpected events.
For kids, this visual is a game-changer. Instead of telling them “don’t worry about it,” you’re giving them a tool to check in: Is this in my circle or not? That small shift helps students build self-awareness, practice self-regulation, and find healthier coping strategies.
Circle of Control Activity #1: Small Group Circles Exercise
This activity works beautifully in a small group counseling setting when you want students to physically experience the concept.
1. Prep: Give each student an index card. Ask them to write down one thing that’s been worrying them.
2. Form Two Circles: Have students who wrote down something they can control stand in an inner circle. Those who wrote something they cannot control stand in an outer circle.
3. Discuss: Ask students to share what they wrote and why they stood in their circle. You can even invite them to switch circles if they realize something belongs in the other category.
This simple movement-based activity creates powerful “aha” moments. Students see, in real time, how many of their worries are outside their control, and how freeing it can be to let those go.
Pro tip: Pair this with a reflection worksheet or journaling activity where students sort examples into “can control” vs. “can’t control.” Having both the physical activity and the paper copy helps reinforce the concept.
Circle of Control Activity #2: Digital Boom Cards Game
If you’re looking for an engaging circle of control class lesson plan for kids, digital Boom Cards are a fantastic tool. They’re interactive, self-checking, and easy to project on the board for whole-class use.
Here’s how it works:
- Pull up a Boom Card deck focused on stress and anxiety scenarios like this Stress and Anxiety Boom Cards Digital Game.
- Present a series of “What can I control?” questions.
For example:
The bus being late (not in my control)
My reaction to the bus being late (in my control)
The weather on field day (not in my control)
- Have students come up to the board or answer as a group.
This activity not only sparks discussion but also keeps students actively participating. They love the game-like format, and you’ll love how easy it is to connect the dots back to self-regulation.
Extension idea: After the activity, ask students to brainstorm coping strategies for the “not in my control” items. This helps them practice shifting their focus and choosing positive actions.
Circle of Control Activity #3: Stress Management Counseling Group
For counselors running small groups around stress or anxiety, building in circle of control examples can be a natural fit. In fact, one of my favorite ready-to-use resources for upper elementary students is my Stress Management and Relief Counseling Group.
Here’s a snapshot of what’s included:
- Students define stress and identify personal stressors.
- They learn the difference between avoidable vs. unavoidable stress.
- We practice prioritizing, identifying coping strategies, and creating support systems.
- And importantly, we dedicate a full lesson to circles of control.
During this lesson, students identify which stressors are within their control and which are not. Then they learn how to respond differently depending on the category. This not only reinforces the concept but also gives them a bigger toolkit of coping skills to use in real-life situations.
Making It Stick: Tips for Counselors
Whichever activity you choose, here are a few ways to make the circle of control concept stick with your students:
- Repeat often: Revisit the circles in multiple sessions. Repetition builds understanding.
- Anchor visuals: Post a circle of control poster in your office so kids see it regularly.
- Connect to SEL: Tie circles of control into broader self-regulation lessons. For example, when discussing problem-solving or managing conflict, ask: “Is this in your circle?”
- Model it yourself: Share an example from your own life. Kids love it when counselors are relatable.
Final Thoughts
At the end of the day, we can’t erase every worry or stressor for our students, but we can give them tools to manage those feelings in healthier ways. Circle of control activities are a simple, powerful way to teach kids the difference between what they can and cannot control, while empowering them to focus on their own choices and responses.
If you’re looking for ready-to-go resources that save you planning time, my Stress Management and Relief Group Curriculum is a great place to start. It includes a full circle of control lesson, plus seven other engaging sessions on coping, stress busters, and self-regulation skills. Or, join IMPACT to access every lesson, activity, and resource I’ve created, all in one place.
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