Hey counselor friend! I’m guessing you have your fair share of drop-ins or referrals for students who aren’t able to respond appropriately to the problems they face. A lost pencil turns into tears. A friend sitting somewhere else at lunch turns into a meltdown. And before you know it, you’re managing behavior problems and self-regulation challenges all day long.

If that sounds familiar, you are not alone. And the good news is that this is a skill we can teach.

Being able to identify the size of a problem falls within social emotional learning and is a social skills concept. It helps students recognize how serious a problem is and choose a reaction that matches.

Explicitly teaching this skill with size of the problem activities and lessons at the elementary level is essential for helping students problem-solve independently and strengthen their social skills.

Hi, I'm Rachel Davis! I'm a former school counselor with over 8 years of experience in the classroom. I specialize in creating easy-to-implement strategies for busy school counselors, and I'm the counselor and curriculum designer behind Bright Futures Counseling, a community designed to offer counselors the support they need to feel confident serving their students well.

In this post, I’m sharing what size of the problem is, how to introduce it, and 8 of my favorite size of the problem activities that school counselors and elementary teachers can use with students.

Let’s dive in!

What Is Size of the Problem?

Size of the Problem is a social skills concept that helps students identify how severe a problem is so they can choose an appropriate reaction.

The idea is simple. Every problem has a size, and every reaction has a size. When the two match, students are able to handle challenges calmly and move on. When they don’t match, we see big reactions to small problems (or sometimes, small reactions to problems that really do need an adult’s help).

When students have a common language to describe their problems and reactions, they can start identifying solutions on their own.

Why Teach Size of the Problem to Kids?

Most of the students we work with have never been taught how to respond to problems based on how serious they are. This can lead to students catastrophizing the smallest of challenges and struggling to regulate their emotions.

When students can’t regulate their emotions and respond to challenges appropriately, it can disrupt their learning environment and negatively impact their friendships and social circles.

By explicitly teaching size of the problem through activities, games, and lessons, students get:

• A shared language to describe their problems

• A clear way to tell the difference between problems they can solve and problems that need an adult

• Repeated practice choosing reactions in a safe, low-pressure setting

• More confidence solving small problems independently

And for us as counselors and teachers? It means fewer “everything is an emergency” moments and more students who can pause, think, and respond.

What Are the Different Sizes of Problems?

There is no one correct way to teach the sizes of problems. The important thing is that you use a consistent scale and refer back to it often.

Here are a few ways to set up your size of the problem scale:

• Small, medium, big

• Tiny, small, medium, big, huge

• A rating scale from 1–3 (or 1–5)

• A visual scale, such as small, medium, and big circles

A Simple Way to Define Each Size

Kids need more than labels. They need to know what each size means. Here’s a simple framework you can use:

• Small problems: I can solve this on my own. It might feel annoying, but it will be okay soon. (Examples: losing a pencil, not getting the color crayon you wanted, someone cutting in line.)

• Medium problems: I might need some help from a friend or adult. It may take a little time to fix. (Examples: a friend saying something unkind, forgetting your homework, feeling left out at recess.)

• Big problems: I need an adult’s help right away. Someone could be hurt or unsafe. (Examples: someone gets hurt on the playground, a fire alarm, feeling unsafe at home or school.)

That last category is soooo important. Teaching size of the problem isn’t about telling kids their feelings are “too big.” It’s about helping them know when they can handle something themselves and when it’s time to get a trusted adult.

How to Match Reaction Size to Problem Size

Once students understand problem sizes, the next step is connecting each one to an expected reaction.

You might teach it like this:

• Small problem = small reaction. Take a deep breath, shrug it off, try again, or use a quick calm-down strategy.

• Medium problem = medium reaction. Talk it out, use an I-statement, ask for help, or take a short break.

• Big problem = big reaction is okay. Tell an adult right away and get help.

I like to remind students that it’s okay to feel upset about a small problem. Feelings aren’t wrong. What we’re practicing is choosing a reaction that helps us solve the problem instead of making it bigger.

How to Introduce Size of the Problem to Students

Before jumping into games and crafts, take a little time to set the foundation. A simple introduction lesson might look like this:

1. Use a pre-assessment to gauge where students are in their understanding

2. Introduce the scale. Show your visual (circles, a thermometer, or a poster) and explain each size.

3. Walk through a few scenarios together and sort them as a group.

4. Talk about reactions. Discuss what a small, medium, and big reaction looks like and sounds like.

5. Practice. Use one of the activities below to give students hands-on practice.

6. Revisit it often. Use the same language during the school day, so students hear it in real situations.

Here are a few questions you can ask during discussion:

• How do you know if a problem is small or big?

• Who can you go to for help with a medium problem? A big problem?

• What happens when we have a big reaction to a small problem?

• What’s one thing you can do to calm down when a small problem happens?

8 Size of the Problem Activities for Elementary Students

Whether you are working with students in individual sessions, small groups, or teaching a whole class guidance lesson, here are my favorite size of the problem activities for elementary students!

1. Size of the problem videos

I love using videos to introduce a new concept to younger students. If you use video clips from films they know and love, they are more likely to maintain interest. 

This clip from The Incredibles is a great introduction to discussing problem size vs. reaction size. The kids think it is funny, and it is a great way to show how the character is completely overreacting based on the size of the problem. 

For some more of my favorite videos to use in school counseling, check out my YouTube Video Resource Guide here.

2. Size of the problem games

Using size of the problem games like trashketball is a student favorite and always a fun and engaging way to teach a concept!

In this game, you help students identify the size of the problem by shooting the scenarios into different buckets. You can use 5 buckets (tiny, small, medium, big, huge) or 3 buckets (small, medium, big). 

Write example problems on strips of paper and have the students wad them up and try to throw them into the corresponding bucket.

Here are a few examples:

• Small Problem: You forgot today was dress-up day at school. 

• Medium Problem: Your best friend doesn't want to play with you anymore. 

• Big Problem: Your parents are getting a divorce.

3. Class-wide scoot games 

If you’re teaching a class guidance lesson and need something the entire class can do together, try this Size of the Problem Scoot Game. 

4. Digital size of the problem activities 

If you are working with an individual student, or need extra activities to reinforce the skill after it’s been explicitly taught, try this digital size of the problem activity.

5. Crafts

Hands-on crafts are great for teaching size of the problem in a small group setting. One of my favorite crafts is creating a collage.

Use 3 or 5 poster boards (depending on how many size options you want) with the problem size written in the center. Then have students cut out pictures and/or words from magazines or newspapers that relate to this problem size. 

An extension activity would be to add picture examples of appropriate reactions to the various problems.

6. Lap books

This Size of the Problem Counseling Lap Book is an engaging SEL tool to make as a group. 

Students can take the concept and apply it to their everyday lives by writing in their own problems, feelings, reactions, and support system. 

You can also make a laminated version to reuse with individual students or keep in your calm corner.

7. Size of the problem worksheets

You can't beat a classic! Simple counseling worksheets are the best way for some students to retain material when learning a new concept. 

This Self-Regulation and Size of the Problem Activity Pack has interactive worksheets with coloring and matching activities. 

8. ASCA and CASEL aligned small groups

Some students need more practice than a class lesson or a quick game can give them.

For those kiddos, I run my Size of the Problem Small Group. Over six weeks, students learn to spot the size of a problem, match their reaction to it, and practice coping strategies through games, discussion, and role-play.

If peer conflict is the bigger issue, my Conflict Resolution and Size of the Problem Small Group tackles both skills together.

Tips for Making Size of the Problem Stick

Teaching the lesson is just the first step. The real growth happens when students hear and use the language again and again. A few simple ways to reinforce the skill:

• Use the language in real moments. When a student is upset, ask, “What size problem is this?” before jumping in to fix it.

• Share it with teachers. Give teachers a simple visual or poster so the same language is used across classrooms.

• Add it to your calm down corner. A size of the problem chart is a perfect visual for students who need a reminder while they regulate.

• Pair it with coping strategies. Once students identify the size, help them choose a coping skill that fits.

• Track progress. Use a quick pre and post assessment to see how students are growing. Here are my must have data collection sheets.

Make Teaching Size of the Problem Easier

You don’t need to create everything from scratch to teach this skill well. The activities in this post are a great place to start, and picking just one or two to try this week is plenty.

If you’d love to save planning time, my Size of the Problem collection is full of ready-to-use activities, games, and small group lessons designed specifically for school counselors and elementary teachers. Just print, prep, and teach.